Watch: Protesters Demand GM Bring Back Saturn Brand

by Gabrielle DeSantis

The protesters are genuine Saturn fans, even if they’re protesting as a goof. Wait, what? Yes, though sincere in their love of the Saturn brand, this was all just for fun. Taking place just outside of the GM headquarters in downtown Detroit, all those involved were in town for the Concours d’Lemons event. 

Hundreds of Saturn protesters showed up in Detroit

Saturn protesters at GM headquarters | YouTube

Hundreds showed up to join in on the fun. We don’t know what GM’s reaction was to it, but at least one local news station took it as being real. Fox2 Detroit followed the action and even interviewed some of the protesters. 

As their reporting says, many were from out of town, carrying handwritten signs extolling the virtues of the plastic econo-car. Signs like “Cheap Shitboxes Again” should have clued the news crews to the true nature of the protest. Or how about “Make America Plastic Again.”

Calls had been made to local news affiliates informing them of the coming protest. Later on, news crews were apprised of the fake intentions. But at least Fox2 went with the story anyway.

Why would GM bring back Saturn?

2009 Saturn Aura
2009 Saturn Aura | GM

Just for the record, we are absolutely positive that GM won’t be bringing back Saturn. With the electric revolution happening right now, all of the car companies have plenty to do. There are no companies wanting to launch a new brand in this atmosphere. 

The other thing is that it never made a dime for GM. Launched in 1990 as “A Different Kind of Car Company,” it was hobbled with debt until the very end. When GM filed for bankruptcy protection, the question being asked was, “Why produce Saturn cars if they cost you money to sell?”

Both Saturn and Pontiac were killed in 2010. Nobody lamented the end of Saturn. By then, production had already stopped the year before. It was only a matter of time. 

Saturn just couldn’t cut the GM apron strings

Saturn protesters at GM headquarters |
Saturn protester at GM headquarters | YouTube

But many loved their Saturns. At first, formed as a separate corporation from GM, it slowly shed some of its unique features, marketing, and autonomy. In the end, it couldn’t cut the apron strings with Mother GM. 

Over the years GM hacked at Saturn trying to get it to profitability. The thinking was that as it conforms to how GM does things, the more financially stable it will become. But the problem with GM was that the entire corporation was losing money at a prodigious rate. Saturn was a microcosm of everything wrong with how GM did business. 

It turned out that the old GM culture was too entrenched to keep it different. And it didn’t matter because the old GM culture was tanking GM. As for the protesters, Saturn is the perfect brand to demand GM revive. Never loved, never profitable, and a steaming husk of how not to run a car company. 

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